Jesus Loves Me This I KNOW

If I have been learning anything over the course of the past few weeks, it's a new revelation of the love of Christ. It's one thing to accept that Jesus loves you, but to really know that you know that you know without a shadow of a doubt is another. This means when my plans don't turn out the way I envisioned, I know that His ways are higher, His thoughts are higher than my own, He has a bigger picture in mind. And how do I know this? Because I KNOW His love for me. Knowing goes beyond feelings. Some days, I wake up and I don't always feel that love from my Creator, but I still know it stands true down deep in my heart. I know He is a good God, He promises in His Word that my future is in His hands. I know that He gives good gifts to His children (Matt. 7:11). 

Knowing is the confidence that whatever you believe is true. In order to know these things, I had to first believe them. I believe[d] Him at His Word because of the love He has for me. I am able to believe that He wants the best for me in every area of my life. Once I began believing that God wants the best for me simply because He loves me, I stopped worrying. I stopped worrying about my future because I know that He's able to guard what I've entrusted to Him until it comes to pass (2 Tim. 1:12). I once heard it said, "When you know how much He loves you, you know there's nothing He wouldn't do for you" -Jeremy Pearsons. 

I believe that the enemy, satan, specifically targets women and girls in the area of self-worth which then leads to actions of depression, suicide, self-harm, etc. The enemy knows that once we receive a revelation of just how much Christ loves us, we are unstoppable. If he can get us to buy into the lies that we are not worthy enough to be loved and pursued, then he thinks he's won. The very nature of Jesus is love. He cares for you dearly and delights in every little detail of your life (Ps. 37:23). He can be trusted, He is safe. He loves it when we come to Him with our concerns, fears, doubts. He loves to trade those fears, doubts, and unbelief for His peace and strength. He loves when we come to Him with bold faith asking and believing Him at His very Word. Whether you come in fear or faith, He is present with love. 

I pray that you would receive a new revelation of the love of Christ, a knowing down deep in your heart that doesn't weaken or fade when trials and tribulation come. A knowing that takes you further than your feelings on the days you don't feel loved. A knowing that He is a good, good Father who passionately pursues you day after day simply because He loves you. 

Perfectly Imperfect

How many times do we, myself included, strive to show the world how perfect our lives may look on the outside? The perfect Facebook post to inspire your followers or the perfectly filtered Instagram picture, both which display just how much we have it together. But so often that is far from the truth. Very far. We are quick to post the exciting events going on in our lives, but beneath the surface are the day-to-day tests that life brings, decisions that need to be made, and endless demands. 

I admit, I plead guilty of this act of perfection. 

I often stray away from things that I believe I would be less than “perfect” at in fear of failure. I spend 30+ minutes putting the “perfect” outfit together and then another 10+ styling the “perfect” curls. {I write this in my "perfectly planned Starbucks outfit", which includes an unintended deodorant stain at the bottom of my dress. Not to mention the messy curls that this Charleston shower had no mercy on as I ran into Starbucks without my matching Vera Bradley umbrella to tie the outfit together. First world problems, right?}   I strive after that perfectly pinned “Home Sweet Home” board I created on Pinterest. And for what? To deceive others in thinking I have it all together? Friends, I most certainly do not have it all together. The danger in striving after perfection, is that it sets up for discouragement when we fail and leaves a void in our heart that longs for more when we finally reach this “perfection.” 

Accepting imperfection is a process. Each day, I’m learning it’s okay if I take a misstep. It’s okay if the plans I have been making change or don’t look the way I intended. God’s grace is sufficient for me, His mercies are made new every single morning. Life does go on. I’ve decided to take a new approach. Rather than striving after a “spirit of perfection”, I have chosen to strive for a spirit of excellence in all that I do. A spirit of excellence is one that leaves you confident that you left your best effort on the field. You can go to bed knowing you made the very most of your day and put your best foot forward. I’ve traded my mess of imperfect plans for God’s plan. I've traded my best for God's best. My best can only take me so far, but His best will take me to places I never could imagine. In His Word full of promises that never return void and never fail, He reminds me The plans of the Lord stand firm forever (Psalm 33:11) no matter how many times I feel as if I’ve messed them up. And when I think there’s no way for the “distorted plans” to turn into something beautiful, He reminds me “I am doing a new thing” (Isaiah 43:19). 

Through my own imperfection God is able to show Himself 

STRONG where I am weak

MERCIFUL when I am in need of forgiveness

LOVING when I feel unloved 

PATIENT when I continue to make the same mistakes 

PEACEFUL in the midst of the chaos I’ve created in my life. 

I am perfectly imperfect. 

His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). 

A Purpose Driven Generation

A purpose driven generation begins with us. 

I believe that it is our duty, as adults in society, to pull out the giftings that God has placed on the inside of children. Once we discover these gifts and talents we must nurture and encourage them. This investment is one that is crucial to the next generation. We should be encouraging these little lives to be the best they can be with the unique gift they've been given. So many people spend their whole lives searching for their purpose and calling instead of stepping into it with boots on the ground. What if they realized their potential at a young age? Encourage kids to dream big dreams but also remember that they are looking up to us for guidance, direction, and affirmation for those dreams. If we begin speaking life into these young souls, I believe a generation of driven, confident, warriors will be raised up ready to conquer. Maybe you once pursued a hobby or passion because someone older than you realized the potential you had and took the time to voice what they saw in you. 

Whether it be a young neighbor, niece/nephew, grandchild, student, son, or daughter, I encourage you to take the time to pull out gifts/strengths/talents that you see in him or her. Every child has something to offer to this world; whether they use it or not could be determined by the encouragement they may or may not receive. Set these children up to succeed. Speed bumps and learning opportunities will come along the way but failure must not be an option. What can you do to invest in the next generation? 

Assignment Living

In this new chapter of my life many of you know I chose, with much prayer and consideration, to stay put in Tulsa, Oklahoma. This came as a surprise for most, if anyone knows my heart for the sweet South. However, in this season, I also believe that I have been given an assignment; I like to refer to this as assignment living- to live knowing that you've been chosen and placed in the specific city you're in for special tasks assigned to you by God. 

Two months ago, I began working for Tallgrass Family Services, which is a foster care placement agency that certifies, trains, and equips foster parents as well as places foster children in homes. This has been quite the learning experience thus far. The families that I have been working with are extremely selfless, bold, and compassionate individuals. On many occasions I have had the opportunity to visit with children already placed in the home. This is my favorite part of the job. I truly believe that each encounter with a child is a divine appointment. In the few moments that I have to spend with each child, I have the opportunity to bring hope, healing, and awaken new dreams. It is my greatest honor and privilege to be given the task of praying over these precious lives who have no control over their past circumstances but believe and speak life over their futures and declare that they are not defined by their past in Jesus' Name. When I see these children, I see bright futures; doctors, pastors, counselors, teachers, CEO's. These children need someone to believe in them, someone to encourage them, someone to bring them hope. So what is my assignment? To bring hope, stand in the gap, pray without ceasing, and believe that God holds each child with His best interest in mind. While I don't know the details of what these next few months or years have in store, I do know that His plans are good and stand firm. This journey is a step-by-step process, and when I begin to see the puzzle pieces come together, I stand in awe of His faithfulness and hand at work.

Live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 

Ephesians 4:1

Compelled By Compassion

As I continue to move closer and closer to the day I will walk across the stage and receive my diploma from Oral Roberts University, I can't help but look back on the "stand out" moments that have wrecked my life these past few years.  Now when I say wrecked, I mean completey transformed my views, my mindset, and my heart. I've decided to share a few stories from my practicum experience as a social work major placed in a local emergency children's shelter. Each day, children were escorted in by the police after being taken out of their homes for various reasons, such as abuse or neglect. A few of my responsibilities included monitoring the children's daily phone call to an approved parent or family member, helping the families settle in upon their intake process as well as helping them gather their belongings when they were being dismissed to a foster family. 

In order to protect each child and his or her case, I have replaced their real names. Each of these stories come from weekly logs that were recorded for a class assignment. 

Phone Calls:

"One boy, who couldn't be over the age of nine, asked to call the one person listed on his contact list, his previous foster mother. In the middle of their conversation he says to her, 'Mom, did you know I had a court date in March?' After she replied he asked, 'Do you know what it's for?' When she replied with a 'no' he said, 'Kyle doesn't want me anymore, he's giving me up for adoption.' I did all that I could to sit across from him and hold back the tears I wanted to cry. He continued by saying, 'I know it's a lot of paperwork, but I know you can do it. Would you adopt me?' This precious boy had a full life ahead of him to live and at the age of nine has already experienced abandonment, rejection, loneliness, and depression." 

Winter: 

"While I was in the office putting together files of new intakes I overheard that there was a family of two coming in that night. A strong, particular stench caught my attention and I turned around to find two barefooted young children, maybe four and six years old, wearing shorts,  short -sleeved shirts and an oversized vest. I could not believe what I was seeing. It was freezing cold outside with snow on the ground and they were dressed as if it was summertime. The stench no longer became a concern, but what I was about to hear next I haven’t forgotten since. 'Are we going to get blankets tonight?', one child asked. The social worker replied, 'YES! Blankets and your own bed. It is gong to be like a big sleepover with lots of kids!' The two children became excited. I wanted to wrap these children in my arms in that moment. The image of these children walking into the office on that cold winter’s night is one that will stay with me for some time."

Babies:

"The moment I saw the four month old baby boy my heart melted! When the caseworker asked if I’d like to hold him I jumped at the opportunity and quickly replied, 'I’d love to!' He was a mixed baby with a head full of dark, curly hair. He had chubby cheeks and the sweetest smile. I held him tightly in his swaddled blanket as I walked around the office. He would look up at me with those big brown eyes and giggle. I then took him to the nurse where she took his vital signs. I was told that he was brought in for neglect. The back of his head was flat, where he had been left in his crib for lengthy periods of time. I wasn’t quite ready to give this baby back. Luckily, a foster home was quickly found for him. One of the social workers assured me that I was a natural and asked if I wanted to take him home to the dorms. If only I really could do that I would in a heartbeat." It's these moments that are my favorite. The moments I was able to pray over the child in the short amount of time I had with him or her. Moments to speak life over them despite their past circumstances and pray for their physical and emotional healing. Once they leave my arms, with the very slim chance I will ever see them again, all I can do is believe that the Lord has nothing but the best for these precious lives. 

Hugs:

"As I was finishing up my night at the shelter I noticed a petite, frail little girl wobble through the doorway of the office. She made her way over to the desk I was sitting at and reached her arms out for a hug. I leaned over and squeezed her tightly. I waved goodbye as the worker escorted her back to her assigned cottage. I had not seen the child before and began asking the social worker about her case. In the next few minutes I had learned that she had been taken out of a home where she was found laying in a crib full of her own feces. Measuring the child's development and size I guessed she was about three years old, but was surprised to learn that she was really five years old. When she was brought to the shelter she could not walk, nor could she talk." She was the sweetest little girl determined to find her place in this world. Each week I went back and visited her and have since learned that she's been placed in a loving foster home with the opportunity to thrive. 

These are just a few of the moments that have confirmed the call God has on my life. All too often, the things that break our hearts are the things we are called to be the answer to. These stories, that are forever ingrained in my heart, are there to compel me to share the love and compassion of Christ with these precious little lives. The lives that so desperately need the joy, peace, and hope that Christ has to offer. What is it that compels you to a life of compassion? He who calls you is faithful and will not fail to equip you for the journey. 

In One Moment...

In one single moment a life can be impacted. Words have the power to build a person up or tear a person down. Some moments stand out more than others and are carried with us throughout a lifetime. While reading Wess Stafford's book titled "Just A Minute", I thought I would take the time to thank a few people who have impacted my life greatly even just for a moment. 

Ms. Melissa Stokes, Shooting Stars School of Performing Arts:

Ms. Melissa, you will never know the impact you have made on my life. In the short amount of time I was blessed to spend at Shooting Stars, I learned by your example. Your bold, courageous, confidence as you entered the throne of God in prayer always inspired me. Whether it be before class, starting a routine, or going on stage at a competition, you made it clear that He would receive all of the glory no matter the outcome. You spoke God's promises over us and now they are forever ingrained in my head that "we are the head and not the tail, above and not beneath, blessed coming in and blessed going out." That promise manifested time and time again as Shooting Stars took home the prize. But more than gaining beautiful technique or winning competitions, you won souls. I am certain that you've impacted many, many lives beyond the dancers that come through your door. From parents, judges, and members in the audience. I cannot thank you enough for your commitment and dedication to pouring into the many lives that will forever be changed.

To the youth leadership at Seacoast Church: 

My relationship with Christ flourished at Seacoast Church. Your guidance and encouragement launched me into the call God has on my life. It was under your leadership that I developed a strong passion for student-led prayer. Wando's Prayer at the Pole would not have begun if it wasn't for Elevation 2009: Uprising. Students were challenged to take a stand and cause an uprising for God in our generation. My dream is that one day students across the United States and even around the world will take a stand and begin each morning at their school's flag pole by praying for protection over the school, fellow students, faculty and staff. Seacoast Missions also impacted my life. It was my trip to Nicaragua in 2008 where my heart for orphans was reignited. Lastly, Seacoast small groups played a huge role in developing a daily devotion to Christ. I will forever remember each of my small group leaders and the influence they have had in my life. Thank you for devoting your time to the many students that go through the youth program. 

My sweet mother, Vicki Billings:

For all the late nights you spent in my room praying over me when you thought I was sound asleep, or the countless number of sermons and "Positive Hits Z88.3" that played in the background of the car on our way to dance class. The power of a praying mother is effective. You taught me the importance of positively feeding your ears, eyes, and mind. The things one allows their ears to hear and their eyes to see ultimately come out in their words and actions. As an elementary schooler eating cereal at the breakfast table, I remember watching the ORU singers every morning on TV. Little did I know, my mom began sowing seed for one of her children to attend ORU. Years later, I am now a senior and will be graduating from ORU in May. You are the sweetest, kindest, and most loving person I know. You treat each person you come in contact with as if it was a divine appointment from Christ. You always have a sweet, soft smile on your face. God's favor goes before you, follows you, and surrounds you like a shield. I have never met a person who gets the front parking space every single time and then says, "Thanks God, I have favor." Simply saying thank you cannot cover the impact you have made on my life. If I can one day become even slightly like the wife, mother, and friend you have been, I would call it a blessing. I love you, Mom. 

Waiting Warriors

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. Psalm 130: 5

Wait: to remain stationary in readiness or expectation. 

While waiting for the Lord, I do not believe that we are to remain unresponsive or shut down, but rather unshaken to the voices of defeat and distress that satan tries to feed our ears and eyes. When we do not see immediate results, we so often become quick to form negative thoughts concerning our situation. As  followers of Christ, we already know the "expected" result. That result is victory. Time and time again the Lord promises victory to His people in His written word. He is not trying to hide it from us. But satan on the other hand, tries to blind our minds from seeing what has already been given to us (2 Corinthians 4:4). Satan knows if we can get ahold of all the promises of God, he would be shut down. 

What if we decided to make God's Word final authority for every circumstance and situation we face? What if we decided to stand up and fight back when satan tries to steal what has already been given to us? When Jesus died on the cross, we were given healing in our physical bodies, sound minds, peace, hope, and ultimately a life of abundance. These things were given to us as a gift and are rightfully ours. I encourage you to go to God's Word and find scripture to stand on. Write these verses down and pin them up where they can be seen multiple times a day. By doing so, your eyes are being fed the Word of God and ultimately your faith is being strengthened for whatever you may be facing. Lastly, speak the scripture you have chosen out of your mouth. You, more than anyone, will believe the words that come out of your own mouth. As an heir of God (Romans 8:17), fight back for what is yours. Put your hope in the victory you've already been given in and through Jesus Christ.